I don’t know how you find yourself here, reading this “blog-a-book.” But I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you are meant to be here. That may sound unbelievably cruel, coming as it does, from someone who has no idea what you’ve been through, what you’ve been made to suffer, what your background is or your upbringing – but trust me when I say to you, this is where your healing will begin. Trust me when I say that I have been there, am still going through the process and have days when I still want to chuck it all and run as far away as is humanly possible. But please know this; I have also learned to trust the process and to understand that there is an ebb and flow. For as many days as I have asked myself “why me?” and “what have I ever done to deserve this pain, this turmoil, this total turning myself inside out and backwards?” – there have been moments of crystal clarity, and complete lucidity, where I glimpse, if only for the briefest moment – the larger pattern; rich and pure and transcendent. Then I am able to understand, if only through a film of tears, that on some level – God or Creator/Universe or All-That-Is and I made a sacred agreement (along with my significant other) that this was exactly the experience I needed to have; the catalyst to transform me into the person I came here to be, the person I had waited my whole earthly life to embrace and express.
All I ask of you, is to suspend your disbelief for this holy moment, and trust Divine Love to speak to your bruised and bleeding heart, to reassure you – that it WILL be well (already IS well in Truth) with your soul. No matter what your human physical senses tell you about betrayal, loss, and the end of all-you-knew-as-true life. You are being called, awakened, born anew and I can promise you, that if you will follow along with me and at least try to be open to the words, images, thoughts and possibilities presented in these 365 days – healing will happen. It may not take the straight and narrow path. I have found through experience, the path is zig-zagged and undulating at best. But please, dear beautiful soul, do not surrender to despair, rather surrender the heaviness of despair to your loving guides – and we all have them. Trust that when there is a truth too heavy to bear, loving and compassionate arms/hearts/wings, will carry the weight until you are better able.
Every one of us is surrounded by a cloud of powerful, passionate and infinitely patient guides – that consider it their purpose, a blessing and a gift to accompany us on this path of transformation. I ask you please, to suspend your belief systems; those guidelines we have been given since birth that may tell us otherwise. Send love, kindness and empathy to your ancestors, past or present – who through the heartfelt urge of wanting to protect you from hurt and disappointment – removed anything that made them uncomfortable or caused them pain in their formative years. They never meant to narrow your choices, never meant to deprive you of help and never meant to permanently seal any doorway to ultimate Truth. They were just doing the very best that they could at the time, which is all that any of us can do.
Love them, thank them and give them space to disagree with you. BUT from here on out and until you reach the last page/post; give them space to be close but separate beings. Send them grace, send them compassion, but cut them a W-I-D-E swath. Journal, in fact I encourage it – but do NOT share your thoughts, insights or inner mouse-trap-designs (do you remember that game?) Keep your thoughts sacred, and share only with beings that walk the path with you, trusted friends, anam cara – soul friends who see you for who you are at a soul level and can mirror your beauty back to you unblemished, the you who was created in the Divine and perfect image of God(dess).
In Grace and Peace,